Is This the End?
by cupcakeswithsprinkles
Summary: "It didn't just faze me, it ruined me." Rachel copes after Puck leaves her alone at one of the most important transitions in their relationship. Is this the end of their life together or can it be mended? True love never dies instantaneously.
1. Chapter 1

**A/n this is kind of sad, but don't worry...you'll get some puckleberry goodness in the next couple chapters! That is if you want me to continue. Let me know in a review pretty please (:**

Chapter one: _The Beginning of the End_

**[_Rachel_]**

The piece of paper that laid between my fingers felt like a slow fire, striking at my hands and slowly and painfully burning throughout my entire body. I felt my fist clench, the paper crumbling as my heart did. The two words the paper held were all I needed to see to fully understand. It fell to the floor as I gasped for air, "Oh my god."

"Sweetie, what's wrong?" I heard from a muffled voice. I saw my friends surrounding me all of a sudden, as my entire world crashed around me. I squeezed my eyes, the heavy make-up on my eyes making it difficult to do so. "Come on, Rach. Breath, honey."

"She's not saying anything..." I heard more muffled talking in the background, not really noticing what they were saying. I felt myself gasp for more air, my body heaving as I did.

"Get me out of here," I said in a low voice, tears lacing through my words. I repeated it sharp and harshly, "_**Get me out of here**__._"

The look of realization on Kurt's face, made me know that he finally understood what was happening. He turned to Tina and Quinn speaking harshly, "Get her out of here. I'm going to go to damage control, call me if you need help"

I watched as Kurt walked in the opposite direction, the tears clouding my vision and finally spilling over. I heard Quinn softly speak to me, "Oh Rach."

I dropped the yellow bouquet of flowers I was holding I gasped out the words I dreaded to say:

"He's not coming."

**0o0o0o0**

I heard my friends pacing the kitchen, presumably discussing my current situation and what to do about it. I looked down at the white dress that still clung tightly to my frame, a feeling of queasiness washing over me. I squeezed my eyes shut, thankful that Quinn let me crash at her apartment for now, but depressed I couldn't change into clothing from my own closet. I knew I had the suitcase with me that would've gone to the beautiful island of Hawaii for my perfectly planned honeymoon, but those clothes just did not feel right to change into. I specifically packed most of those articles of clothing to please... _him_. Then again, it would probably better than this disgustingly breathtakingly beautiful, over the top white dress. I scoffed down at it.

"Oh Rachel, you should really change into something more comfortable. How are you doing?" Quinn asked gently as she entered the room. I smiled slightly, feeling more grateful for my friends than I ever had.

"I'm just so humiliated." I said desperately.

Tina walked into the small living area and offered me a sympathetic smile, "There really isn't anything to be humiliated about Rach. I may not know how it feels, but I can understand what you're going through and I can assure you it's not your fault."

"I just can't believe it. He wasn't man enough to even talk to me," I sighed dramatically, looked at my friends faces, and ran a hand through my hair overly curled hair in desperation. I always watched those movies where the groom stood up the bride, but I never thought it would happen to me. It just hurts so much, opening yourself up to someone so fully and they just leave you there not even man enough to give me a heads up or come and talk to me in person. "He just left me a fucking note."

My friends eyes widened at me cursing. I always detested when..._he _did. Quinn spoke softly, "I could kill him."

I smiled softly at them again, "I love you guys so much. What would I do without you right now?"

"Who freaking knows?" Kurt piped in, bursting through the front door. "Everything is smoothed over, thanks to a certain gorgeous divalicious fashionista. Cough...me...cough."

I tried to laugh at his joke, but all that came out was a pathetic whimper, "I appreciate it, Kurt."

He set the two large Bloomingdale bags on the floor and walked up to me, putting a comforting hand on my shoulder, "How are you doing, Hunny?"

"I've been better."

"Well of course you have, but don't even think about that right now Rachel. Us three are going to pamper you for the next couple of days," Kurt reached into one of the brown bags he set down and pulled out a set of comfortable underwear, black bed shorts, and a pink tank top. He held it out to me, "I took the liberty of going to you're apartment and grabbing a shit load of things you might need. So, change and get comfy."

I grabbed the clothing from him, tears of admiration springing to my eyes. "Thank you so much, Kurt. I really do love you guys."

"And we love you." They all told me, making me let out a small, sad smile

I carefully got up from the couch, my dress making it difficult to maneuver myself. I made my way to Quinn's bedroom, ready to carefully rid myself of the biggest reminder of my failed attempt at marrying the love of my life. I felt the tears spilling over as I reached for the zipper, It sounded pathetic but the thought of taking off the dress made my stomach sink to the ground. It seemed ridiculous, the fact that it seemed like taking off the dress was like taking away the only hope of him busting through the door and saying something stupid like 'Sorry I'm a little late, babe.'

After getting changed, I looked at the pure white dress that took up most Quinn's queen sized bed and wiped the remaining tears off my face. I admired the silky white material that took up the top of the dress and the lacy material that took up the rest. I bought the dress happily imagining the short train flowing on the ground behind me. I ran my hand along the small beading around the bust area of the strapless dress. I let out more tears, wiping them away without bothering to look in a mirror. I refuse to see how I look right now, because it was definitely not good. When I opened the door that led to the hallway, I heard hushed, serious voices and stopped to listen, adjusting my hearing to catch Kurt in the middle of a sentence.

"... him when I went to pick up the clothes. He almost looked as bad as Rachel, if not worse. He seemed emotionless, like a freakin' zombie. I could just tell he was absolutely devastated with himself."

I could practically hear Quinn huffing as she whispered menacingly, "He fucking should be devastated. I could just _kill_ him,_ literately_ kill him."

"I'll be your accomplice," muttered an outraged Tina. I made a point to shut the door loudly, so they knew I was coming. I was too emotionally exhausted to eavesdrop any longer.

I heard them all fall silent as I entered the room. "I left the dress on your bed, Quinn. Do you think you can put it away? I really didn't want to look at it any longer."

"Yeah, no problem honey. Anything for you." She let out a bright grin that I just couldn't return.

I plopped myself back down on the couch and said, "Movie marathon? Do you have any Ben & Jerry's?"

**0o0o0o0**

A week later, I still did not feel like myself. I couldn't help but feel like I would never laugh or let out a genuine smile ever again. I knew I couldn't let it affect my life, so I decided to return to the apartment that we both lived in to grab all my stuff. I checked the calendar, and once I was positive that he would be at work I left. When I took the steps I sighed softly, the memories invading my mind. I decided that I would move in with Quinn for a while, she offered so I figured she really didn't mind. It was only until I could find a new apartment of my own.

I smoothed out my black pencil skit as I opened the door to apartment 528. When I entered I raced into the bedroom, my black pumps clicking against the wood flooring. It sounded dumb, but just in case I ran into him here, I wanted to look professional and normal...like what he had done didn't faze me. I almost laughed out loud at how utterly false that was. It didn't just faze me, it _ruined _me.

I started stuffing all my clothing into the bright pink suitcase that I pulled out from under the bed. Once it was full, I pulled out a duffel bag and filled that up. I sighed at the amount of clothes I had, realizing that I might have to make a couple trips. Once I had 3 duffel bags and two suitcases full of my clothing, shoes, and accessories, I figured that the rest of the clothing could stay behind for now at least. I scurried out the door, weighed down by bags and suitcases. One duffel bag slung on my shoulder and the other two wrapped around the tops of the two suitcases I rolled with me. I contemplated leaving him a nasty note...but I figured I shouldn't stoop to his pathetic level. All I did was slowly pull the sparkling, platinum diamond ring off my finger and set it next to the answering machine. I knew he would find it.

I paused for a moment, admiring the most favorite piece of jewelry my eyes have ever seen. The large diamond stood tall and pronounced, shaped almost like star. A star like I thought I was always destined to be. The band held smaller diamonds all the way around and every time she saw it sparkle she smiled softly. I knew he had saved up for that ring for the longest time. I sighed miserably, blinked the stray tears away, and shook it off. I was Rachel Barbara Berry. I could handle this.

When I reached the sidewalk outside of the apartment, I bumped into someone on my way to my car. I took a minute to recover from my embarrassment and before I could even apologize I felt my heart drop to my stomach. It was him, I could just tell. I could smell his boyish scent and feel his large presence beside me. When I finally spoke, my voice came out in a soft, teary gasp:

"_Puck_?"

**A/n: Next chapter will pick up right where we left off...BUT in Puck's POV. REVIEW if you want this to be continued. Also, I might post links in my profile to pictures of the engagement ring and the wedding dress because I based them off real ones. Only if you guys are interested in that! Lol Look forward to hearing from you all :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/n: Lots of cursing in this one, but hey...it's in Puck's POV what did you expect? Also it's a tad short, other chapters with be way longer!**

**I am really happy with all of you who liked the first chapter, so here is number two (:**

Chapter 2:_ Remorse and Guilt _

[_**Noah**_]

I felt like _fucking _hell. I couldn't sleep, eat, or function properly. The guilt seeped through my body and every time I closed my eyes I saw the love of my life alone with friends, family, and acquaintances on one of the most important moments of life. The moment I saw her backing carefully out of 'our' apartment weighed down with bags full of her stuff I froze, my heart clenching. I squeezed my eyes shut, standing in the same place until I felt her bump into me with a 'umph'.

"_Puck_?"

I winced at her use of Puck, she never calls me Puck. To her I'm Noah and I like it that way. The tears in her voice made my heart drop to my stomach. I didn't know how to act or what to say to her, so I settled with a soft, "Hey Rach."

When I turned to look at her, she looked so..._tired_. Her eyes were glazed over, but she still looked just as beautiful as the last time I saw her. She let go of all of the bags and suitcases, letting them fall softly to the pavement. I reached out to pull her into my arms, but she whipped out of my touch so quickly my eyes widened, when she spoke her voice was pure ice, "Don't you _dare_ touch me."

"Rachel I-"

"You_ don't _get to talk to me. You don't get to _fucking_ explain, Puck." She yelled in a frustrated tone, pure venom seeping through her words. I watched with wide eyes as her eyes squinted in pure fury, tears pooling in her hazel eyes, threatening to leak down her soft rosy cheeks. Her breathing became ragged, as she looked at me almost completely hysterical, "I don't even want tolook at you. You fucking _humiliated_ me."

"I'm sorry."

She let out a humorless, mocking laugh, "Yeah, oh I know. That's all your fucking note said. 'I'm sorry'. No explanation, fucking nothing."

"I'm sorry."

"You broke me." She let out a whimper and at that moment I wanted to_ kill_ myself. This was not the strong Rachel Berry I know. She was ruined, _broken_. It was me who fucking broke her.I thought back to a couple weeks ago, I would've been endlessly teasing her about cursing for like the first time ever. Now it's all just fucked up.

I sighed shakily, keeping my emotions in check. Badasses like myself, do not show emotion. In this case however I wanted to tell her exactly how I felt about her, "I love you, Rachel."

She looked to her shoes dejected. I knew she was crying and she didn't want me to notice, but she can't hide anything from me. I put my hand on her shoulder softly, "God, I love you so fucking much Rachel. I really do."

"Could've fooled me."

I sighed brokenly, frustrated that I couldn't do anything to remedy the situation. I ran a shaky hand through my buzzed hair, "Please, Rachel. Just let me explain everything, lets have one of those important talks you always want to have with the pie charts and pro and con lists. _Please_, I'm fucking begging you."

"No." She said stubbornly, her voice cracking pathetically. "I know you're begging me, but I'm begging you; Don't do this to me right now. _Please,_ I can't take it right now. Just let me go, okay?"

I looked straight into her wet, hazel eyes and I knew I couldn't deny her. Her eyes were begging, no _pleading_ with me to let her go, to not push her into more heartache and pain. I knew there was absolutely no way I could deny her of what she was asking. "Okay."

She muttered something under her breath that I couldn't understand, but I decided against asking her what she said. I grabbed all of the bags she was carrying minus one suitcase and I stuffed them into the trunk of her black Prius. I watched as she drove off, keeping track of her car as it followed the carefully paved road until I could no longer physically see it. I stayed rooted on the side walk, unable to move. I really hated what I did. I despised myself, really. The fact that I ruined the best thing that ever happened to me, ate at me day and night. I really wish I could say I had a terrific reason for calling everything off last minute, but I don't.

The night before the wedding, I laid in the bed alone while Rachel was at Quinn's with the rest of the girls. I contemplated what was going to happen the next day, trying to picture me in my tux standing up front waiting for Rachel to walk towards me dressed in white. I couldn't picture it.

I tried to picture it for fucking hours. Squeezing my eyes shut, concentrating hard. _Nothing._

I panicked, but I knew that generally it really wasn't that big of a deal. Seriously though, big fucking deal, you couldn't picture the day in your head. But then, I just thought of how fucking huge the wedding got. Rachel hiring Kurt to plan, a guest list of like a million-and-fucking-thousand, vows to write and say in front of everyone. I didn't know what to do, I felt like I was suffocating. So I went to bed, thought a good nights sleep would fix everything.

Yeah, _right_.

I woke up and everything hit me full force. I thought about how much Rachel didn't even deserve someone like me. Someone who would even second guess being skeptical of getting married to her. I know that's bullshit, but I just felt so god damn nervous that morning. I really wanted, and _still _want to spend the rest of my pathetic fucking life with her, no doubt about it...but how good at that would I be? I never thought about those things when I proposed. What can I say? I'm a fucking dumbass. I knew I would be no good for her. Bringing her down, ruining her chances of becoming famous. _Hell_, I didn't want her to wake up one morning and resent me for ruining her dreams. Now that I see that breaking off the wedding did not help her one bit, it fucking destroyed Rachel. Now it's destroying me.

I'm going to fix everything. _I am_.

**0o0o0o0**

"Man, you fucked up. Like_ majorly_."

I scoffed at Finn, rolling my eyes. "Don't you think I fucking know that?"

"No man," He said putting a hand on my shoulder. "I mean you really, _really_ fucked up. I just got back from Quinn's."

"Stop making me feel even more guilty than I already am." I sighed and rubbed my temples, "What happened when you were there?"

I noticed the sad look in Finn's eyes and immediately realized I didn't want to know what happened when he was there, "I saw Rachel."

"And...?"

"I've never seen someone so..._sad_. She looked terrible man, she was just like sitting there emotionless. Her eyes were like _bloodshot._" Finn frowned slightly, "She basically didn't even acknowledge I was there. She just stared at me spaced out and gave me a nod. She looks like she got less sleep than you've been getting, plus she looked so small, like she lost a lot of weight. "

I let out a shaky breath and shut my eyes, fucking Finn just had to make me feel even worse than I already did. It's been a week since our bad encounter, and I felt even worse than I did before. "I really don't want to fucking hear this, Finn."

"I'm sorry, dude...but seeing her like that made _me_ want to kick your ass."

"I know, I want to kick my _own _ass," I looked at the ground and sighed again. "Do you think there's anything I can do?"

"I really don't know, if I were you i'd talk to Quinn. I mean she knows exactly how Rachel has been doing since the 'wedding.' I think she'd honestly know what would be good for Rachel right now." Finn suggested wisely.

"That might be the first smart thing you've ever said!" I smiled at my best friend and hit him on the back, "Thanks bro."

**0o0o0o0**

It took me three days after Finn's suggestion to find my nuts and call Quinn. I'm not scared, I'm fucking _not._ I'm just, nervous I guess. Badasses get nervous some times,_ right_?

I scrolled down to Quinn's number on my phone and hovered over it for a couple seconds until I finally just pressed the green call button. It rang three times before she answered in a sharp whisper, "_What do you want_?"

I sighed at her icy tone, it was nothing I wasn't expecting, "I want to talk."

"If you think you're talking to Rachel, you are absolutely _crazy_."

"No, I don't want to talk to her. Well I do, but I don't expect to." I spoke into the phone clearly as I paced the entire apartment, "I just wanted to talk to you about everything. I feel fucking awful. I didn't want to ruin everything like I did, I swear I really didn't. I just need to you to listen to me."

I heard her breathy sigh on the other end of the phone, "I'm listening."

"I want to hear your opinion. I know I fucked up, like majorly, but do you think I still have a chance with Rachel? What can I do to make everything better? I feel like a fucking dick. The fact that I hurt her makes me want to throw myself off a bridge. I just want everything to go back to normal, I miss her so _fucking_ much. I love her more than _anything_ and I'm not afraid to say it, no matter how big of a pussy it makes me sound like."

I heard her take a deep breath as if contemplating exactly what to say to me, "Puck, you have to listen to me. I know you're sorry, I can tell. And I know you love her, but back off. If your 'not afraid to say it, no matter how big of a pussy it makes you sound like' then why did you leave her there with nothing but a fucking note? The look on her face broke _my_ heart, it was like she couldn't breath. You need to give her time, room to breath without you for a while. She can't deal with this right now, she's too angry and heartbroken."

"Do you think she'll come back to me, Quinn?" I knew my voice sounded desperate and broken, but I really didn't care.

"I don't know, I can't tell you." She spoke softly, "I think you really broke her."

"I know."

**0o0o0o0**

**A/n: I know this is like extremely depressing, but it will get better...eventually! Haha Anyways, this is mostly going to alternate every chapter, next chapter will be Rachel and then the chapter after that will be Puck etc...**

**REVIEW! It will make me update sooner, I'm not even kidding. So please, please REVIEW (:**


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